Written by Lacey Liebert, Licensed Mental Health Counselor. Former fellow and current member of The Boston Psychoanalytic Society and Institute.
This is relevant in running and in life. What kinds of things do you hear from yourself throughout the day? How about when you’re struggling or having a hard time?
“I suck.” “I’m no good.” “I’ll never get it.” “I can’t do this.”
Do these things sound familiar? Some of us can be pretty critical or harsh to ourselves.
I’ll admit— I said some of these things to myself when I was doing the Wordle this week… Everyone else in the room had already gotten it, and I was STUCK.
What happens when you hear mean and critical things from yourself?
· More likely to get easily frustrated, quit, give up.
· More likely to see yourself as incompetent, incapable.
What about when you hear kinder, constructive, and more encouraging things?
· More likely to keep trying!
· More likely to tolerate mistakes and failure as part of a process of learning and growing.
· More likely to see yourself as human, capable.
If you are someone who has an overly critical voice on your shoulder, try these on the next time you’re struggling.
“I’m learning.” “I’m human.” “I’m figuring it out.” “I can do hard things.” “I’ll do something differently next time.” “I forgive myself.”
One of my favorite metaphors in therapy is “Building muscle”— especially in the areas we are learning and growing. The “muscle” you are working on may start out pretty weak, but you know what to do— keep working at it and it will get stronger.
If you have a question or topic for Talk to a therapist on Tip Tuesday, please send it to:
Laceyliebert.lmhc@gmail.com
Disclaimer: A lot of people associate therapists with serious mental health concerns. This is an important reason to seek out a therapist. In addition to this, a lot of people go to therapy for non-urgent reasons- to learn more about themselves, to talk about the things going on in their lives, and, for the people likely reading this post- the ups and downs of running.
If you are looking for a therapist, here are some resources—